Hot Dads
UNBELIEVABLE
ACT ONE
“So we read the book Hair Love at storytime today,” I tell Tanner when we get home from the library. We’re in the kitchen: I’m making lunch for the kids, and he’s heating up leftovers for his own meal.
“Have you heard of it? It was a short film,1 and I think Obama had it on his list of favorite books one year,” I say, putting some carrots on a cutting board.
“No,” Tanner says, facing the microwave. “But go on.”
“Well, anyway, Miss Paige is reading it, and I look up at the pictures, and oh my gosh, the dad in this book is RIPPED,” I say.
Tanner turns around.
“What?,” he says.
“Yeah! I mean, he looks like … who’s that guy who was in Criminal Minds? He always called the tech woman baby girl?” I say.
“Shemar Moore?” Tanner asks, standing at the island.
“YES. He looked kind of like Shemar Moore if Shemar had dreads! Just super hot,” I say, dropping the tiny carrot pieces on Sally’s high chair tray.
Tanner leans forward. He shakes his head at me.
“Lock it up, Pressley,” he says.
ACT TWO
The kids and I are in the playroom. I’m sorting through the books we checked out at the library earlier, which includes a copy of Up High by Matt Hunt.
Tanner walks past.
“The dad in this book is tatted up,” he says. “Is he on your hot picture book dads list?”
“I mean, he’s not as built as the other guy,” I say.
Tanner shakes his head at me again.
“Unbelievable,” he says, heading back downstairs.
I start laughing.
“Okay, yeah, it’s a little weird that I’m objectifying dads in picture boo—“
“UNBELIEVABLE!” Tanner shouts.
(More than 2,000 people agree with me, though. Just saying.)
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