My dad is a huge fan of voice texting. I don’t think he types any of his text messages, actually; just fires up Siri and gets to talking.
There’s just one problem.
My dad sounds like cornbread would sound if it could talk.
Please understand that this is not me throwing shade. Frankly, I can’t. If my dad’s accent is cornbread from your mamaw’s house, mine is cornbread from your favorite barbecue joint – still good, just not as strong.
This metaphor is getting away from me. Let’s just say it plainly: We sound like hillbillies. (We are hillbillies: Dan from the actual foothills of the Appalachians, me a child mimic who developed an East Tennessee accent despite having never lived there.)
So, despite Dan’s deep commitment to the talk-to-text lifestyle, Siri only understands him half the time.
I found this hilarious. And then I got an Apple Watch. And I started voice texting.
Pot, meet cast iron skillet.
A sampling, starting with Dan, because his are funnier:
This was all fun and games until Siri turned on me like a bad hot dog1.
I am what you’d politely call a power user of Apple’s Reminders app. (Impolitely, you’d call me obsessed.) I set reminders for everything, typically using Siri on my watch to add to my list when a task pops into my head.
But the texts get even worse. Listen, I get that Siri can’t pick up on the nuances of spelling in names (she’s never gotten the mouthful that is “Pressley Frevert” right on the first try), but “are” for “I”? Am I a pirate?!
And sometimes it’s just gross:
I don’t expect a robot in my phone to understand a Southern accent. Listen, I’ve known my husband for almost a decade now and he still stops and squints at me occasionally, not exactly sure what I’m saying.
Apple’s engineers will catch up at some point. Until then, Dan will continue to send me gems like this:
This is a reference for Dan and Dan alone. Love you, Pop.
Dogwood Festival!! (still trying to work out the Mastercard girlfriend one…)